Silent Witness

Have you ever had the feeling

you’re not alone?

someone is watching you

you could feel it in your bones?

 and in that moment

in rapture you dissolve

into a world still and silent?

You realize you are aware of your awareness

and you’ve tapped into the field of consciousness

You glimpse at your silent witness

BAW(c) 2011/31/12

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve is here

Let me make it clear

Santa don’t bring me anything new

I’m okay with the few

I have enough

I need no more stuff

To junk up my place

I need open space

Give to those who need

That’d be a good deed

All I need out of the deal

Of rice and hot chicken curry

Is one great meal

Won’t you please Santa baby

Give it to me.

BAW (c)

 

Christmas magic

The Christmas scent of clove tea

An artificial pine tree

Imported from a foreign country

By expatriate businesses in the city

Is the elephant that sat in our living room

That family and friends got together to groom

The spirit of this little village came alive

With more than the wine they all imbibe

But with Carols and Christmas stories of the ages

That colored our world with bright reds instead of the beiges

On Christmas eve

Mother gathered children around her knees

After the usual Christmas pleas

To recite traditional stories, songs and poems

…T’was the night before Christmas and the gnomes

Santa’s cute little helpers making toys

For all the little girls and boys

Recited the words perfectly from memory

Lyrical, musical and mystical the Christmas story.

 

Christmas poems gentle trade winds blue skies

Riding the waves of the tie that binds

Renew traditions of goodwill of a thousand years

Invoking the spirits of our long-lost forbears.

What makes the Christmas story so compelling?

Is it the miraculous birth of the little Jesus darling

No, it is miracle of  dear old Santa sneaking

Down chimneys that did not exist in Phoenix?

That’s what held the Christmas Poems magic.

I am contented to be alone for Christmas

Christmas is two days away. My colleagues at the office are making plans with family and loved ones. There’ll be turkey, mistletoe, children flying in from all over the country and naughty Santa waiting for the lights to go out. We’re all caught up with the excitement in each other’s lives. I have no such plans and why don’t I feel depressed? Why do I feel as if I have won the lottery? The thought of me not caught up in that orgy of over-stuffing my face and distressing my stomach with a medley of conflicting foods and tastes and drinking myself in an intoxicated stupor, but sitting quietly in my home eating my ordinary vegetarian fare, probably from the pot to save me an extra something to wash, drinking herbal teas and not having to concoct excuse for why I no longer drink alcohol.

Am I in denial? Is this some form of depression? Why am I not feeling sad? I should feel sad being alone at Christmas? This is not the norm, I tell myself, what is the norm? Who determines what is the norm for me?   We  carry around many viruses of the mind that it’s hard to know what is healthy and what is a dangerous virus. The virus have taken a home in our system that it feels like it fits even though we feel the tightness burning us in various parts of our psyche but we ignore them and just go along.

My friends, God bless their hearts; we do care about each other. They ask either for curiosity or genuine concern what are you doing for Christmas?

“I’m not even a Christian,” I say.

“But aren’t you going to celebrate, are the children coming home?”

“No, no one’s coming home and I am not going anywhere?”

“So do you have friends to have Christmas dinner with?”

Äh…”

“What are you doing for Christmas?”

“I’m going to serve the poor on Christmas day and I’m going over at a friend’s on Christmas Eve.”

“That’s nice. I always wanted to serve the poor on Christmas Day but I don’t think my family will understand.”

“You do what makes you happy,” I say.

“I’m having Christmas dinner at my house this year. My sister is bringing the turkey and my brother bringing the …………” her voice faded as my thoughts wandered to my family back home to simpler times when we had a chicken dinner, some pepper pot, chow mein and black cake.  It was the day I’d get a whole chicken leg for myself and two little pieces of beef. That was plenty, wash that down with some ginger beer and some of mama’s best sponge cake and that was the best Christmas. Those were the days.

I think I had enough great Christmases, if I don’t have another, I don’t mind it. I carry Christmas in my heart, I feel it, I feel full and I feel connected no matter if I am alone in my room watching a Christmas movie on Christmas day all by myself. It’s not about who you’re with but how you arrange your mind.

Mind

Your mind is like a garden

Fertile as it was in Eden

Filled with fruits of possibilities

If you tend it diligently

 

Just like a gardener tends his plot

You’re responsible for your lot

It’s your job to prune and weed

And to find the perfect seed

 

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

So use it well with use it with taste

For waste not want not

a successful crop you will begot

(c)BAW 2011

Christmas sentiments

Christmas is a time of year

puts the heart on trial to bear

memories of tragic  loss of a loved one

that claim some of the holiday fun

On the other hand we make new memories

that fill holiday diaries

of new friends, new babies and new loved ones

the heart opens up and clears the dungeons.

Merry Christmas, may your heart open up like a flower and welcome the sun.

Chasing Darkness

We chase the darkness

Like adding fuel to fire

Creating more of what we do not need

Looking outside ourselves for answers

When all we have to do

Is look inside

And switch on the light.